3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
