I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
