Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
