who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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