My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Sacagawea was the original milf.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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