im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
