mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
