fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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