I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
