I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
