careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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