I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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