You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
