Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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