You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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