Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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