It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
