Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
