okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
