I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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