forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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