what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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