I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
