I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize