I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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