they need to just BURY HIM!
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
