so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Randomize
