Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
apparently the secret to your success is patron
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
