I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
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