I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
