Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
this just has baby written all over it
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
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How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
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I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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