nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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