I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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