someone get that fucking seahorse.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
