so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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