nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Randomize