Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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