Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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