whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
