Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
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