If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
