The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
The cops high fived after they tackled you
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
