speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize