And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
