I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
