im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
