sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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