im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
