dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.