just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
