worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
You took a bar mat shot.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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