So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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