Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
My dad just said "fuck circus"
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
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