The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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