I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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