We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
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he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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