grandma shit on top of the toilet
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
