her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
