she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
