what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
