She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
